Cyber
Columnists

• September: More and more of us are telecomuting and working at home. We'll cover some guidelines to help you properly set your home office up to increase your productivity and efficiency. We'll also be taking a look at the "start pages" that Terry and I use when our browsers fire-up.
  
• October: It's an election year. We'll be taking a look at political sites all over the web.
  
• November: Terry and I'll be doing a wrap-up of some of the more popular sites that we've accessed the most during the year.
  
• December: Our annual holiday column highlighting some wonderful holiday sites for you and your family to visit will be our present to our readers.

This wireless connection is going to provide a 2 meg uplink as well as a 2 meg downlink for around $40.00 a month! Incredible! You heard me right! 2 megs up and 2 megs down! It's amazing how far we've come. Residential DSL (Digital Subscriber Line) service only gives you a 384k uplink and a 1.5 meg downlink. A commercial T-1 connection gives you a 1.5 meg up and downlink. I know at one time T-1s ran around $1500-2000 a month! This new wireless connection won't require a dialup or a phone line! The "always on" connection will be made through a very small antenna. There is also a mobile version in the works that works in conjunction with a GPS (Global Positioning Satellite). I'll keep everyone informed as progress is made. Around the first part of September, there is a demo scheduled at the InfoMart in Dallas. I can't wait to see it! When it comes to technology, we haven't seen anything yet!

All's well at the Mencke household. Terry and I are getting through the summer heat and our "mutt-dog" seems to be tolerating it quiet well. Our backyard has quite a bit of shade and he usually finds a cool place in the dirt. Terry and I are counting the days until the heat breaks and we can head to east Texas for a long weekend of camping. We are both ready to get away and we really need it! Hopefully real soon, we'll be able to start looking at campers so we can go more often since there won't be so much to pack.

If you've been following this column over the past few months, you know that I've had my problems with new computer systems. So after all of the problems I've had with new computer systems over the past few months, it's nice to have everything settled down in our "computer room." Our three computers, the older HP and the new super HP and the Compaq laptop are now networked, talking to each other, sharing files and printers, and the Net. Our home network is great. I love it. Terry's got her computer to play games on and work on the church books and I've got my new HP 8770C 850 Athalon. It's great and hasn't had the problems I had with the four Gateway systems I ended up going through in a two month period. I've never been much for playing games, but I've bought a couple lately and I'm having a fun time with them. One is "Roller Coaster Tycoon" and the other is "The Sims." Our other computer, the Compaq laptop is used for a combination of home and business use. I enjoy using it when putting the column together so I can be in the living room with Terry so she doesn't feel like a "computer widow."

There is one last thing I'd like to throw out to our readers. If anyone is using a Palm Pilot or a Handspring PDA (personal digital assistant), please relate to me your experiences and recommendations. I've been struggling with the thought of buying one and I feel that it would be a very good organizational tool but I'm just not sure. I've been looking at the Palm and the Handspring units as well as the new lines of hand-held computer, trying to evaluate the different models and whether I need this or that model. I just can't seem to get straight answers from the sales people or literature. It is all very confusing, even for me!

Terry and I've got an interesting column for you today. We've got some very useful software to review and recommend! SilverLakeTech.com has some great tools to simplify your computing life! We'll then get back to another one of our reader's favorite features, "Net-Humor." We all need a few more chuckles in our lives from time to time and I have friends that just keep Terry and I smiling all the time! Enough chat and news, let's get on with this issue of "Your Web Connection."

SilverLakeTech.com

PrintScreenWorks

This is the program that caught my eye when I first opened the package. In my job I have to, from time to time, write tutorials pertaining to software that our customers must use. As we all know, a picture can be worth a thousand words. We are all visual in nature and it is easier to show a picture of how a certain screen is supposed to look than to try to explain in detail where each section is. This is one reason that I use a lot of "screen captures" in my software tutorials.

Yes, Windows is able to capture screen shots, but there are many steps you must go through to get just one screen shot accomplished. When you get the screen you need, you must push the "Prt Scr" key, then paste the image into a graphics program, edit the image, then finally import it into your word processing program so you can put your text around it. Lots of steps are needed especially getting rid of the area of the capture you really don't need. With PrintScreenWorks, you can do this effortlessly with just the push of just one button, the "Prt Scr" key. PrintScreenWorks converts that key into a "hot key" that works in conjunction with SilverLakeTech's super easy to use program. In fact when the program is installed it sets up 3 "hot keys" to either capture the entire screen, the active window or just a portion of a screen. You just simply drag the cursor to outline the area of the screen you want to capture. That's all there is to it. Pretty simple. After the image or window you need is captured, the PrintScreenWorks can be set to automatically print the image immediately so it can be previewed. I personally ended up turning this feature off since I was doing so many different screen captures.

The program resides in your system tray just waiting for a command to go into action. Once an image is captured, the image may be saved as a bit map (".bmp") or a jpeg (".jpg"). After capturing the screen, you have your choice of loads of extra goodies they have built into the program! If you want to make an emphasis to a certain area of a window, you can include your cursor or add one of four custom cursors. For documentation purposes, you can add your own notes as well. This program is well suited for those who do technical documentation for a living. Also for those of us that do a lot of training on software, PrintScreenWorks is a savior!

If you are having a problem with your computer and you are having a hard time convincing the "techies" about what your computer is doing, just send them a screen shot so they don't think you're an idiot! They may say, "Your system can't be doing that! Our systems just don't do that!" Well, prove them wrong by sending them a screen shot of exactly what "their system" is doing! The good folks at SilverLakeTech.com have also built in some really nice safeguards if you have captured screens with sensitive information. All screen captures can be encrypted for safety. Good foresight! PrintScreenWorks retails for $29.95 and they have an evaluation copy of the software for you to take a look at to see if it can be a tool for you to add to your computer.

This last couple of weeks I've been using the program off and on and have found it very useful and it has done everything that SilverLakeTech.com has promised it would do. I've used other screen capture program in the past and by far, this is the easiest one to use. A lot of thought has gone into the writing of the program.

Milori Training Tools 2000

I do a few presentations every now and then and this is one suite of training tools that I'll never be without! After installing them, I was really surprised how versatile and useful they will become after I get used to them. Milori Training Tools consists of four really useful programs:

• Milori PC Chalkboard
  

  Imagine having a pallet of 16 million colors to use to draw on your screen over your electronic PowerPoint Presentations just like you were using an overhead projector! That's what's you've got with Milori PC Chalkboard. You can highlight, draw arrows, circles, rectangle and lines in 8 different widths. And you can do this right on top of anything running on your computer! It's just like having a clear transparency over your screen for you to write on.
  

• Milori MagLens
  

  This is another real cool little training aid. It will allow you to magnify an area around your mouse cursor while your move it around the screen. You can choose magnification levels from 100 to 600 percent with the ease of keystrokes. You can then freeze the window so you can discuss it. If there is a certain area of your desktop or presentation you need to draw attention to, just invoke the program and you're ready to go!
  

• Milori Finger Prince
  

  Finger Prince lets you cue up different special effects that can be used during your presentation. The effects could consist of audio or video clips, certain Web Sites you need to reference during your training or even a text document, spreadsheet or help file that needs to be referenced throughout a training session. Just like all of their other programs, the effects are available with the touch of a few keystrokes.
  

• Milori Audisee
  

  Audisee puts an explosive "burst" on the screen anywhere you click. If you are training on software and you tell your audience to double click in a certain spot, everyone can see exactly where you are clicking! You audience can follow every action you do! Another very useful training tool.
  

Milori Training Tools retails for $69.95 and they have an evaluation copy available for download at the SilverLakeTech.com site. If you are involved in training in any way, these tools are going to make your job much easier. You'll be able to clarify your points and knowledge retention on the part of you audience should improve.

There are some other programs the SilverLakeTech.com folks have come up with that you should also take a look at. A couple of them are very useful in managing and backing up your Outlook and Outlook Express folders and contacts. If you are not backing up your Outlook Contacts and Personal Folders on a regular basis, you should be. There's going to be a day you wished you had. The problem is that my normal Outlook backup file is around 70 megs and it can grow with each archiving! SilverLakeTech.com has come up with a a better way!

Check out these other fine programs that SilverLakeTech.com has to offer:

• OutbackPlus - Designed to create a backup or archive file of your Personal Folder information.
  
• ExpressAssist - One-stop data backup and restore solution for Outlook Express.
  
• Amigo!Pro - The intelligent Information Manager!
  
• BackDora - Backup utility for your Eudora Email program.
  
• (Area)CodeWizard - Automatically updates your telephone databases
  

All of SilverLakeTech.com's products can be found at their web site. Just follow any of the links that I have provided. All of the products are available on an evaluation basis for you to try to see if they can be of benefit to you. I recommend you take a look at their programs and incorporate them into your computing environment. I am very pleased at what I've seen. I want to personally thank Joel Hudesman for providing me the evaluation software and drawing my attention to their company. Good job guys!

Net Humor and Life's Ponderances

The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant, named Calle. It seems that Calle has a chronic illness which requires daily medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose orally, so a pharmacologist developed a suppository for her.

The 10-inch-long, four-pound, cocoa-butter bullets are crafted by the good folks at Guittard Chocolates in Burlingame, California.

Administering the DAILY medication takes five zoo workers, including one person to distract Calle with treats and one person who wears a full-arm glove.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT ALL THIS MEANS?

It means that five people have jobs worse than yours!

Now stop complaining and get back to work.

A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"

BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"

NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!"

CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you -- don't go biting off more than you can chew!"

ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"

BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."

MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."

BATMAN'S MOTHER: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"

GOLDILOCKS' MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"

LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!"

ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?"

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"

JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days."

SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"

THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"

Plumber: "We repair what your husband fixed."

On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip, call your plumber."

Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one Weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

Door of a plastic surgeons office: "Hello, can we pick your nose?"

Sign at the psychic's Hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you."

At A Laundry Shop: "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"

At a Towing Company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

On an Electricians truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On Maternity Room Door: "Push, Push, Push."

At an Optometrists Office: "If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a Butchers window: "Let me meat your needs."

On a fence: "Salesman Welcome, Dog food is expensive."

At a car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment Necessary, we hear you coming."

Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inexperienced people."

On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

In a Veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."

In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."

Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a counselors office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.

• I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's boxers when he's on the toilet.

• The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

• I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

• I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, in the sofa cushions, under Dad's blanket/pillows.

• I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

• I will not eat the cat's/Dad's food, before or after they eat it.

• I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

• I will not throw up in the car.

• I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

• "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.

• The diaper pail/trashcan is not a cookie jar.

• I will not wake daddy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up his butt.

• I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.

• I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

• When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside and "accidently" step on the automatic window opener.

• We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on the TV, especially during Frasier.

• I will not steal my Dad's boxers and dance all over the backyard/patio with it.

• The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Dad's laps with clean slacks on.

• My head does not belong in the refrigerator, dishwasher or dryer.

• I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Dad's driver's license and car registration; although Dad speed was fun to look out the window at.

• On most nights, I will allow dad to use HIS blanket on HIS bed.

That's enough chuckles for now. We hope you've enjoyed the contributions. We'll have a new batch for you in our next issue.