Cyber
Columnists

We hope you enjoy the line up. If you have a suggestions for future topics, please drop us a line. We love hearing from our readers. This is an interactive column. It takes feedback from our readers to succeed. Before we get into today's column, I've been asked to do a "plug" for a very worthwhile cause, Summer Santa.

Our good friend, J. R. Lieber, the Yankee Cowboy, is running for Vice-President on George H. Bush's ticket, although Governor Bush doesn't know this yet. For those of you that are not in the "know," J. R. Lieber, the Yankee Cowboy everybody loves to hate, is the alter ego of Dave Lieber, a columnist for the Northeast edition of the Fort Worth Star Telegram. Dave has been very innovative in his quest to get his editorial opinion out and was the first columnist in the country to have an online video column. To raise money for his favorite charity, "Summer Santa", J. R. is running for Vice-President and selling campaign buttons for $2.00 each.

Just what does Summer Santa do?

Summer Santa is a dynamic charity that will benefit more than 1,000 needy children in Northeast Tarrant and southern Denton County during the summer months. The idea of Summer Santa is to remind folks that helping others is a year-round endeavor, not just at Christmas.

If you'd like a Yankee Cowboy for Vice-President button, send your $2.00 donation to:

DSL (Digital Subscriber Line)

Probably one of the most talked about topics on the Net today is "high-speed surfing" or "broadband connectivity." Many, including me, feel that the future of the Net and what we'll be using it for in the future hinges on affordable high connectivity. If predictions about the Net and how it will affect our lives in the future hold true, high-speed connectivity for the majority of the population will have to become a reality. For the next two issues of "Your Web Connection" I'm going to concentrate on two of the major players in high-speed connectivity, DSL (digital subscriber line) and cable access.

What is DSL?

As I've already previously mentioned, DSL stands for "digital subscriber line." DSL is a product of the phone companies. One of the benefits of DSL is that it uses the same copper wires as normal phone lines, delivering data at speeds of 1.5MB and above. There are also several different "flavors" of DSL, mainly for business use, which I won't elaborate on in this column. We just need to be concerned with the "consumer DSL" version.

Do I have your attention? I said 1.5MB (megabytes per second) and above. Compare that speed to your 56K modem that may, at it's best, be running at 51-53kbps (kilobytes per second). And I doubt that many of you have seen speeds like that out of your modem, even under the best of circumstances. Let's compare the numbers.

56K modem - 50 kilobytes per second

DSL - 8,000 kilobytes per second (theoretical) 

Big difference. So if there is that much difference in speed, why aren't we all surfing the Net at blazing speeds? There are several reasons.

1. DSL has been slow to roll out across the United States since it is a fairly new technology.
2. Standards are still in the development stages.
3. Distance also comes in to play when considering DSL. You must not be further that approximately 3 miles from a Central Office switch. Further than that, DSL starts to degrade.

If you have decided you want DSL, the first thing to do is to call your local telephone company to see if it is offered in your area. Or you can visit the phone company's web page and check there. Usually they have an area on their site where you can enter your area code and telephone exchange. It will tell you instantly if DSL is available in your area. If you qualify, your lines will be checked to see if they will support DSL, and the order will be placed.

Here's the cool part. Like many computer users, we have an extra phone line that is dedicated for online use. Then we have our regular line that is used for our voice communication. When you have DSL installed, you can drop both analog regular lines. With DSL, you can be surfing the NET at blazing speeds, talking, and faxing all at the same time on the same line! From what I understand, you even can keep your current regular phone number.

What equipment do you need for DSL? You will need the following, which the phone company will furnish when they come to install your DSL line.

1. NIC (network interface card.) This is just your regular ol' Ethernet card that we are all familiar with.
2. A DSL modem which will supplied by the phone company. DSL modems are starting to come down in price. Right now, they run around $300.
3. If you want to share the connection with a home network, you will need a router. Some of the DSL modems even have routers built into them.
4. A splitter outside your home that splits the data calls and voice calls routing them either to your phone or computer.

Southwestern Bell, our local phone company is offering two options on DSL service. The following information is taken directly from Southwestern Bell's web site.

• BASIC DSL:  1.5Mbps (megabytes per second) downstream (downloading, what you get when you access the web) and 128Kbps upstream (uploading). Downstream throughput speeds will vary depending on the customer's distance from the central office and other factors, but the connection speed will be a guaranteed minimum of 384Kbps.
• Premium DSL:  Up to 6Mbps downstream and 384Kbps upstream. Downstream connection speeds will be a guaranteed 1.5Mbps.

As you can guess, the extra speed comes with a price. Below is the pricing table from SW Bell's web site as of February 3, 2000. The Premium DSL package would probably be ideal for many businesses. It rivals the speed of a T-1 line which normally costs around $1,000 - $1,500 monthly.

Another one of the major advantages of DSL is that you still have your choice of ISPs (Internet Service Providers). Please understand, the prices above are for the DSL line only. It doesn't include your Internet access fee. On the SW Bell site, they have a long list of ISPs that are now supporting DSL. As time goes on, there will be more and more ISPs offering DSL connectivity as an option. Probably one of the best deals going right now is a promotion being offered by SW Bell Internet Services. For a flat rate of $49.00 a month, you get the Basic DSL package plus unlimited usage. Not a bad deal. And, as with cable access, you connection is always on, no dialup required.

To wrap it up, let's talk a little about what we'll call the "pipe" that delivers the data to your computer. Think of a neighborhood that has a water pipe running down the middle of the street. All of the houses on either side of the street tap off this main line. As more and more people turn the water on, the pressure goes down. This scenario is very much how cable access works. With DSL its as if you have a pipe running to your house directly from the water company. Then your neighbors would have the same type of line and so on down the street.

I hope I have enlightened you a bit on the pros and cons of DSL. Let's summarize:

Pros

• Lightening fast surfing and downloads
• Always connected
• You have your choice of ISPs
• Same phone line can be used for voice communications
• Phone company or ISP normally does the setup

Cons

• Distance comes into play. It might not be available in your area.
• Further away from the central office you are, the slower the connection.
• Setup costs can be prohibitive.
• Tops speeds are very pricey.

Next month, we'll be talking about using cable access for your high-speed surfing. With all of the research I've done concerning DSL and what I will be doing on cable access, I feel that I am now a much better educated consumer. After the next column, you too will understand the world of high-speed access much better.

Net-Humor and Life's Ponderances

It's now time to laugh a bit and hopefully get a few chuckles out. Many times, I've almost decided to do away with this section, but so many of you write letting us know how much you enjoy it. Let's see what has been in the ol' email box this past month.

I may have shared the following poem with you before, but it's good enough for a re-run every once in a while. Read and ponder. I try to read this at least once a week. I keep it on my desk at work. 

Slow Dance

Have you ever watched kids
on a merry-go-round
Or listened to the rain
slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

Do you run through each day
on the fly
When you ask "How are you?"
do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow
And in your haste,
not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
'Cause you never had time
to call and say "Hi"?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast
Time is short
The music won't last

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away...

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Wise Sayings!

Subject: A few words from a visionary:

• All those who believe in telekinesis raise my hand.
  
• Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  
• I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
  
• How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
  
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  
• Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
  
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
  
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
  
• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
  
• Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
  
• Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
  
• I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
  
• Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
  
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  
• If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
  
• 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case...coincidence?
  
• When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
  
• Boycott shampoo - Demand the REAL poo.
  
• Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
  
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
  
• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
  
• If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
  
• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
  
• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  
• For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
  
• No one is listening until you make a mistake.
  
• Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
  
• The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
  
• The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
  
• The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
  
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism - to steal from many is research.
  
• Two wrongs are only the beginning.
  
• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
  
• Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
  
• The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
  
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  
• If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
  
• Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
  
• A fool and his money are soon partying.
  
• Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
  
• If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
  
• Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
  
• I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
  
• Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
  
• Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.
  
• Half the people you know are below average.
  
• 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  
• 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  
• A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

Classified Ads

In the same vein of Jay Leno's famous Monday night headlines, these were shared with me. Some of these are really a hoot!

The following were actually taken from recent classified ads in
newspapers from the USA:

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL -
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.

1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer

AMANA WASHER $100.
OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

FREE PUPPIES...
PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART DOG

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15

TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT'S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK -- $2000

STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT -- $15

SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE 89 cents each

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS
WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME.

FOR SALE:
LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50

NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED - CALL CHUBBIE

BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
"WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"

SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT ... BEEN OUT AWHILE..
BETTER BE REWARD.

HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER
"IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

GET A LITTLE JOHN:
THE TRAVELING URINAL
HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.

HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB

GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE:
NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
SLIGHTLY STAINED

FREE: FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.

AMERICAN FLAG
60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR.

NOTICE:
TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE: PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VICINITY ARE DEAD.

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS -$175.

OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB
AND IT'S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER - $300.

ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES
FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER

GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.

GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL.

BAR S SLICED BALOGNA
REGULAR OR TASTY
SAVE 30 CENTS ON 2

OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS

KELLOGG'S POT TARTS - $1.99 box

FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb.

URL: http://www.web-connection.org/archive/webback/2000/conn0207.htm