Cyber
Columnists

Virtual Mummy

Many of you may remember that winter. The first week of the exhibit we had a major ice storm. So I didn't work the exhibit until the second week. The shift leader on my shift was this really good looking guy with a beard. (I'm very partial to beards!) Of course, I really didn't think too much about it at the time. I had resigned myself to being the neighborhood "cat lady." I decided I really didn't want anything to do with men, so I'd just get me a few cats and we'd live happily ever after.

The longer I worked at the exhibit, the more I noticed my shift leader. Of course, he didn't even know I existed. Every time he needed me to move to another area, he had to look at my name tag before he could remember my name. Every so often, he caught me following him around the exhibit. Of course, when that happened, I beat a hasty retreat.

The exhibit was winding down, and the last Sunday of the exhibit, he asked for my phone number. "Just to keep in touch with the whole gang. We might have a one year reunion or something." I told him I'd write it down for him when I went on my break. Well, I took a little longer than I should have that day, but when I came back I handed him my phone number. He looked at me a little funny, but I thought nothing of it at the time.

Shortly after the exhibit was over, he was to have some minor surgery. He called me after the surgery and complained of being bored. I offered to come visit him. During the visit, he started talking about how much he liked going to the zoo. I remember thinking "At last. He's going to ask me to go to the zoo with him." Well, he talked and talked so finally I asked HIM if he'd like some company on his next picture-taking excursion. (Yes, this multi-talented man is also a photographer!) Well, we agreed to a time and date. About that time, his mother came into the room. She had been in the back taking a nap. He introduced us and his mom started talking about another girl who had worked at the exhibit on Sunday mornings with us. I thought "Oh, great. I have just invited myself on a date with someone who already has a girlfriend!" Well, that brought the visit to a close and I went home. I thought several times of calling and cancelling, but I didn't. And, boy, am I glad I didn't!!!! The "date" to the zoo was wonderful! The girl I thought was his girlfriend was just a friend. An I have now been married to that wonderful, handsome man for a little over nine years! Yes, it was Chuck!

He later told me he had been watching me, too! I asked him why he waited so long to ask me for my phone number. You'll never guess his reason! He was too shy! Yes, I am talking about Chuck! He was afraid to ask me for fear I would say no. Then he'd have to see me every week until the exhibit was over. By waiting until the last day, he wouldn't have to worry about it if I said no. I really wish he had asked earlier, but I'm ever so glad he finally asked!

So, what does this long-winded story have to do with a virtual mummy? Well, obviously mummies are now very important in our lives...it's what brought us together! So when I see anything on mummies, I'm interested. You may have seen the article in the Star Telegram on July 25, 1999 about the scientists at the University of Hamburg who have created a web site showing the results of their work on a 2,300 year old mummy. Using CAT scans and lots of computer time, they virtually sliced up a mummy. The results are on their web site and it is really cool! The site can be found at: http://www.uke.uni-hamburg.de/institute/imdm/idv/forschung/mumie/index.en.html. I know, that is one heck of an URL! You can also get there by searching Altavista for "virtual mummy." If you're at all interested in this kind of thing, give it a visit.

Life Expectancy Calculator

Speaking of old things...many of us would like to know that we will live to a ripe old age. And we would like to know that we have saved enough to get us through our old age. Most of us will not live 2,300 years (of course, the mummy didn't either, but he's still around!) MoneyCentral has a really neat test to take that will help you figure out what your life expectancy will be. That will help you plan for your future. To take this short test go to:

http://moneycentral.msn.com/articles/retire/create/tllifest.asp

NetHumor and Life's Ponderances

Had a Bad Day?

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they both were eaten by a killer whale.

2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of nagging, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.

3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole - sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours short of the 400 day record, only to find that his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.

4. A women came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Till that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

   And the capper....

6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

Here's hoping your day is better than any of these!
Remember - it can always get worse...
But it can also get better! Keep reading!

What Goes Around, Comes Around

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day,while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life." "No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly.

"I'll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good education. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll grow to a man you can be proud of." And that he did.

In time, Farmer Fleming's son graduated from St.Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the nobleman's son was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved him? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill.

His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

On The Lighter Side

I graduated from the University of Texas at Austin and am fairly proud of being a Longhorn. And of course, being a Longhorn, I love Aggie jokes. Here's a cute one.

Three aspiring psychiatrists from various colleges were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor, to the student from the University of Texas, "What is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the UT student. "And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Baylor. "Elation," said she. "And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas A&M, "how about the opposite of woe?" The Aggie replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."